We sat down in our circle and got right into it. Once again, the overwhelming response from all the book club members was universal – I loved this book, when’s the next one coming out?

“As soon as I can sell 3,000 units,” I answered with a straight face. “If I can do that, and if people really love my book as much as they say, then I should be able to generate enough noise to get an agent, which would then allow me a legitimate shot of realizing my dream and selling The Gift of Samuel trilogy to a big publisher.”

I gave them all the statistics. Told them that only 1 in 10,000 self-published authors make enough to earn a living, and how only 1 in 100,000 become a household name. Seemingly impossible odds. Yet, the resolve in these women’s faces was inspiring. Instead of consoling me about my doomed fate, they were determined to help me sell 3,000 units; The Gift of Samuel was going to beat the odds if these ladies had anything to say about it.

“You know what, Pauly?” one of the members, Nikki, said to me. “I loved this book so much I’m making Jay (her husband) read it, and I’m making him send it to one of his good friends, John Doe.” Obviously, the good friend’s name isn’t John Doe, but for purposes of this blog, we’ll call him John Doe.

“That’s fantastic! Thank you, Nikki! Who is John Doe?” I asked.

“He was Jay’s college roommate,” Nikki explained. “Today, they are still good friends. John’s super cool and down to earth. John is the literary agent for Jane Doe!”

This is the point where all my senses went numb. Obviously, once again, the author’s name really wasn’t Jane Doe. This author’s name was a household name as this author wrote a major young adult trilogy that became very successful motion pictures. Not only that, but I’ve had several people tell me that The Gift of Samuel reminded them of this specific YA trilogy.

“If Jay asks John to read it, he’ll read it.” Nikki said, without an iota of hesitation.

I instantly thought of the movie Roadrunner, the biography of the late Anthony Bourdain. I had no idea his New York Times bestseller Kitchen Confidential was spawned from an email that he had sent to a friend, detailing Bourdain’s everyday life. Bourdain’s friend happened to be married to a publisher, and when the friend read Bourdain’s email to his wife, she knew Bourdain was a natural author, and the rest is history.

What are the odds that a member of the Book Babes is married to a close friend of a famous literary agent? 1 in 10,000? 1 in 100,000? 1 in 1,000,000? On top of that, what are the odds that this member of the Book Babes liked my book so much that she would do what she did?

When I self-published this book 15 months ago, I told myself that if I could change the life of one person for the better, then I would have achieved my goal. Then, that happened (See https://thegiftofsamuel.com/the-client/) and, as a result, my goal changed. If I could change one person’s life for the better, then I want to change multiple lives for the better.

There’s no timetable, and I have no idea when John is going to read my book. But I know he’s going to read it. And if this book is as good as everyone says, then I have to believe that he’ll see the potential for The Gift of Samuel. Even if he can’t pick me up, himself, he’ll know someone in the industry who can, and I’m one step closer to my next goal.

Once the Book Babes and I had devised our master plan, we realized it was time to hit the road as everybody had work the next day. That’s when the ladies suggested that I join their book club and become Mr. Book Babe.

“I don’t think so,” Katie dissented. “I think Paul should concentrate on writing books two and three of The Gift of Samuel!” A unanimous cheer came from the rest of the group.

Since the Book Babes gathering, it’s been difficult for me to contain my excitement. As I work on getting books two and three from my head onto paper, I want to share a link where you can see the outline to the Prologue and Chapter One of Book Two. Because the Book Babes had so many questions about Book Two, I read them this small portion, culminating in a chorus of “ohs” and “ahs.” I hope you share in our anticipation!

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I dream of that apartment, St. Clement School, and that alley t-intersection often. However, no dream of that environment was as vivid as the dream I had of meeting Samuel in that t-intersection. The dream began from the second floor of that two-flat that I called home for the first fourteen years of my life.

I was up in my bedroom, getting ready for school. I was late and it was pouring rain outside. I left my room which was adjoined to the dining room, where I looked outside the soaked and blurred window to see the grey sky above. The lightning flashes and thunder roars were sporadic, but intense. Good thing I could leave through the back door that opened to the alley. In less than sixty seconds I would be at St. Clement’s front door.

I walked out of the kitchen, onto the enclosed back porch and down the back stairwell. I could feel the cold and could hear the rain drops pounding on the roof and windows. I walked past the open door on the first floor. It was the apartment of my landlady, Anna Amstedt. She was like a second grandmother to me. I could see down the length of her apartment, but she wasn’t there. She normally wouldn’t leave her back door open like that, giving me an ominous feeling.

I opened the door to the alley, pulled the waterproof hoody over my head, and stepped out into the rain. The alley was full of puddles everywhere and the sprinkles of water against my face were frigid. I shut the door behind me and made my way quickly toward Orchard Street and my school.

As I approached the intersecting alley, there were four people just standing there, waiting for me. One of them as Samuel. I could tell by his unmistakable aura and his smile. Even in the pouring rain, he emitted light. The other three were females that I didn’t recognize.

Without saying a word, Samuel began conveying information to me, telepathically. The three young women were sisters. They all seemed friendly, excited to meet me, again, without any spoken word; it was just known to me. The oldest of the sisters was strong, fearless, and a protector of the other two. The youngest seemed shy and quiet.

Samuel explained to me through my mind that he was in love with the oldest sister, and she was in love with him. They longed to be together, but it was impossible, as it was determined that she would be passing on shortly; she was going to die. The same fate was true for the middle sister. They were both going to die, together. The youngest sister, again the shiest of the three, was going to continue living in this life, for now.

There was no sadness relating to the passing of the two older sisters. It was more a feeling of regret that Samuel and the older sister would not get to have this life together. I telepathically asked them if it was possible for the older sister to live. Samuel allowed me to see that it was possible, but when both scenarios were played it, it was for the best that she “pass on” at the time and place that they had decided, which was near.

Samuel continued, informing me that once the two older sisters were gone, that the remaining sister was going to become pregnant by another man who had questionable motives. While Samuel was not the biological father, he felt a strong obligation to the child and the mother because of the great love he had for the oldest, soon-to-be-deceased sister. Therefore, Samuel vowed that he would protect that child and mother and raise the child as if he were the father.

I could feel Samuel’s dedication to the three women and to the unborn child. He was going to whatever it took to assure their safety. He was a hero in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to be like Samuel.

With that, I was awoken from my sleep and it was time to add another entry into my dream journal.

The post Samuel in love appeared first on The Gift Of Samuel: Grey Dawn.

“Are you still coming to our book club meeting this Friday?” It was my friend and neighbor, Jen, who had graciously suggested The Gift of Samuel to her book club. “BTW, we read your book and another book, so we’ll be discussing both books on Friday.” I told Jen to count me in and asked her for the title of the other book so I could do some research, see what kind of competition I was up against.

“Never in my life have I read a book so well written,” was the first review I encountered. It was a New York Times bestseller, with an average rating of 4.5 out of 5 stars on Goodreads, with over sixty-seven-thousand reviews.  Suddenly, I regretted confirming I would go to the book club before investigating this other book. My competition was a Goliath, and I was petrified.

When I arrived at Jen’s book club, I was greeted by Christine, our evening’s friendly and generous hostess. As I walked into the kitchen where the other nine book club members were gathered, my attention turned to Jen and I bee-lined for the safety of a familiar face to calm my nerves.

Jen gave me a hug and, just then, I heard the unmistakable sound of hands clapping. It was short and my back was turned, so I have no idea if it was just one person or a few, but the sound was distinct. I never asked who clapped, but it was deeply appreciated; without saying a word, I knew I had at least one reader in the group who liked my book.

We gathered in the basement to discuss the two novels, my competition up first. Goliath came out strong, with many of the club members agreeing that it was an excellent book – a page turner, captivating. To my surprise, as the group got into deeper questions, the comments began to shift.

“It definitely kept my attention,” Jen’s sister, Kate, shared. “However, when I finish a book, I want to know what the author’s purpose was for writing it. I could not figure out the purpose of this book.” Curious. Goliath suddenly had a weakness.

“Would you recommend it?” I inquired.

“I would, but only because it’s disturbingly interesting. Whoever I was recommending the book to, I would let them know that it’s disturbingly interesting and that’s the only reason I’m recommending it.”

Given my motive for writing The Gift of Samuel, and Kate’s comment relating to the importance of knowing an author’s purpose for writing a book, I jumped right into the theme question when it was my book’s turn.

“What was the theme of The Gift of Samuel?” I humbly asked the group. The responses came fast and were plentiful.

“Life…Forgiveness…No judgment…No one is perfect…Hope!”

We were off to an excellent start. Might as well get the hard stuff out of the way now, I figured.

“What were the novel’s weaknesses? Please, be honest.” I said.

“You need to re-do the back cover. It doesn’t do the book justice,” Jen’s daughter, Maggie, replied. “This is a great book. You need a great back cover.” Christine voiced that the book was too spiritually driven at times, while Pat thought the ending was too abrupt; she felt there was more story to tell.

“What were the novel’s strengths?” I asked. The responses left me humbled.

“Extremely well written…fantastic story…excellent characters…felt hope at the end…great visual descriptions…unpredictable…engaging.”

From there, we launched into over an hour and a half of deep, nonjudgmental, and respectable conversation, on many sticky subjects, from politics to religion to race…all the things that I hope people will talk about after reading my book, without having to attack and insult each other.

When it was time to wrap things up, I asked my final question, “would you recommend The Gift of Samuel?” The response was a resounding and unanimous, “ABSOLUTELY!”

Driving home, I thought of the fear that had coursed through me before attending the meeting. It was all for nothing. Had I given into my fear and avoided the book club and Goliath, I never would have had such a wonderful experience.

Thank you, Jen, Maggie, Mary, Kate, Megan, Lireen, Joyce, Christine, Patty, and Pat, for an incredible evening. Thank you for reading my book with open minds and open hearts. Most of all, thank you for reminding me that you should never give in to your fears, because faith, hope and love always triumph in the end.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” – John Lennon

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I remember lying in bed that night, thinking about that video. Sure, it was certainly a fake, a product of our digital day and age, nothing more. Still, I couldn’t help but think of how cool it would be to be an angel in the afterlife, to have those powers, and to help someone who needed it.

Suddenly, as if the answer had been there all along, I realized how short-sighted I was in my thoughts. I didn’t need to die and cross over, to become an angel, to help someone in this life. It was in that moment of realization that I closed my eyes, took some deep, controlled breaths, and asked God to make me an instrument of his love, in some way.

A couple of days later, my wife and our two sons, toddlers at the time, were leaving breakfast from one of our favorite local restaurants. We had been to that restaurant at least twice a week, for the past few years. As we walked out, my wife abruptly stopped, pointed to a flyer taped to the window, and said, “you should do that, you’d be good at that.” I couldn’t imagine what she was talking about, so I walked up to the flyer. “Become a Hospice volunteer – light up a life” it read.

To some, that would simply have been a coincidence. To me, that was God answering my prayer. I signed up that day to become a Hospice volunteer and can say, with all sincerity, it was the one of the best things I have ever done in this life.

Fast forward to a few years ago. A friend had volunteered to read and edit a very early draft of The Gift of Samuel. We got together to share a meal and go over his thoughts and suggested revisions.

“Dude, I really liked it!” he began. “Clearly your intended audience is young adult.”

“It is?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Absolutely!” he answered, like he couldn’t believe I even asked the question. “First of all, your protagonist is sixteen. Then, your use of basic wording in the novel and the way you kept sentence and story structure simple. Finally, your use of short chapters, breaking the book down to small, digestible portions. I could tell from the onset that you consciously constructed this book to appeal to young adults.”

All I could do was stare at him. I didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. He waited for my answer, only to hear silence.

“Am I wrong?” he asked softly.

“It’s not that you’re wrong,” I tried to explain, “it’s just that…I didn’t have any of those specific parameters in my head when I wrote this book. I didn’t consciously choose a sixteen-year-old protagonist. I didn’t consciously choose specific words or sentence structures to appeal to young readers. I didn’t consciously keep the chapters short. That’s just the way the book came out, based on the dreams I has having, and based on my writing style.”

“I can’t believe it.” He responded. “What about the theme of the book – the message of hope and never giving up. That was a conscious decision, right?”

“Honestly, my friend, I just wrote whatever was coming through in my dreams. That’s it.”

“Paul, when I read this book, I had no doubt you made a conscious decision to tailor this story specifically for today’s young adults. I hear so much about teenagers today struggling with depression and suicide, at the highest rates in our countries history, and experts can’t figure out why. Everything about this book suggests you specifically intended it for those young adults in need…and you’re telling me it wasn’t styled like this on purpose…man…what a coincidence!”

So, I ask you: this book, about a sixteen-year-old boy trying to find hope, in a world fraught with despair, based on recurring dreams, from a man who didn’t know the first thing about writing a book, who earnestly asked God to be an instrument of his love…is it just a coincidence?

The post Just A Coincidence? appeared first on The Gift Of Samuel: Grey Dawn.

Every time I saw him in my dreams, I instantly recognized him, and woke up thinking of our first introduction, his brutal fight with Seth, and the image of the flower coming back to life, with the chorus of angels singing in the background. He was hanging around enough to keep the journal going and, obviously, I needed to give him a name. Despite the intensity of those first dreams, and his regular appearances thereafter, he never shared his name.

Thus, I began thumbing through boy names online to discover their meanings, as I wanted to give him a name that meant something to me and wasn’t just a name that sounded cool. I soon discovered that checking for name meanings online was frustrating as it’s rare to find two different websites giving you the same meaning for the same name. When I came across the name Samuel, I loved the meaning behind the name, and, best of all, there was agreement online on the name meaning. The name Samuel means “God has heard.”

The idea of God hearing us and hearing our prayers has innately been with me since I can remember. While I have never officially been designated to one specific religious sect, I’ve always had a spiritual mindset, believing that there is something greater than the material world and our five senses. I have no objective reason for this belief. It was just how I came into this world. I was also fortunate enough, at a young age, to be exposed to different world religions and the spiritual concepts at their foundations.

Even though I was not Catholic, I grew up going to a small Catholic elementary school, finding solace in the stories of Jesus. My parents divorced when I was very young, and when I was nine years old, my father began dating a Jewish woman. She eventually became my stepmother and my father converted to Judaism, giving me my first true exposure to a religion outside of Christianity. As a teenager, I attended a Jesuit high school where four years of religious study was required, one of those years being the study of world religions. Finally, in college, I took another course in world religious studies where I was introduced to The World’s Religions by Huston Smith and Black Elk Speaks by John Neihardt.

As I met different people, from different religious backgrounds, while studying the various world’s religions, I couldn’t help but wonder which of these religions was the “correct” religion. Fortunately, actions speak louder than words, and while I was meeting these people, I became more focused on the human interaction I experienced versus the religious rule. I was less interested in what I was supposed to believe and more interested in how I felt.

When I was first introduced into my stepmother’s Jewish family, I was immediately greeted with open arms by everyone in her family. On the surface, I was so different from them, but I soon realized that it didn’t matter. They included me in everything and made me feel like part of the family. Not only did I see the love between them, but I experienced it and, moreover, was a part of it. It didn’t matter that they were Jewish while I was “some-sort-of-Christian.” At least, it didn’t matter to me.

The more I came to experience kindness from people of various religions, the more I realized that the only thing that really mattered was love. Furthermore, when you study these religions, at their core, there is one principle that stands out above all others: the golden rule. They all teach, one way or another, that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. For me, treating others with love and kindness, regardless of what religion they practice, became imperative.

Given my dreams of this man, who preached that we are all from the same light and implored on me to forgive even when forgiveness was not being asked, Samuel, or “God has heard,” seemed like the perfect name. Thus, Samuel and I had established our friendship and the stage was set for the next round of dreams and life experiences that would ultimately result in The Gift of Samuel.

The post Naming My Friend appeared first on The Gift Of Samuel: Grey Dawn.

As he sat across from me, I was transfixed by Samuel’s aurora once again. His glow was the same as the first time I saw him. His eyes and his smile were the focal points of comfort and acceptance. He radiated a sense of unconditional friendship. Even though it was only the second time I recall being in his presence, I felt like I had known him my entire life and could go to him with any problem, any concern, and he would do whatever it took to ease my troubles.

Samuel told me that everything was ok and that I didn’t need to apologize for the previous night. Instead of voicing anger and blame towards Seth, Samuel expressed concern. He explained that Seth was just confused, misguided, and did not realize the severity of his actions. Samuel reminded me that we all from the light and we have a choice in life: to embrace the light or reject it. Samuel explained that part of embracing the light meant to forgive even when forgiveness was not requested.

Then Samuel told me he wanted to show me something. We walked outside of the home to a car unlike any that I had ever seen. It was an SUV with special modifications just for Samuel. The outside of the car was covered with armor, while the inside had buttons, dials and monitors in every direction. Inspecting the driver’s seat, I could tell that the vehicle had a manual transmission, but the clutch, brake and gas pedal were specifically altered to fit Samuel’s bowed legs. There were also several levers and bottoms that occupied the roof over Samuel’s head. It was one of the coolest things that I had ever seen.

Samuel drove as I watched in amazement at the easy in which he operated this vehicle. As we moved along the many people and buildings that we passed, the mood had shifted. Instead of discussing the heavy, spiritual points of forgiveness and embracing the light, we were now laughing and joyous. Samuel pointed out various buildings and mentioned specific people by name, all of which were great benefits to the community. He convinced me that I was exactly where I needed to be and that my stay was going to be life altering.

We turned down a dirt road that approached the front of a massive, four-story building. Samuel pushed a button above him and a garage door directly in front of us began to rise. Samuel pulled into the garage, and we got out of the car. The inside of the garage was strewn with mechanical parts and tools. Samuel was definitely a gear head. We left the garage and walked further towards the inside of this massive building, eventually finding the stairs and walked up to the top floor.

We came into a room with a large window where one could see the whole of the community below. In the middle of the room was a round, wooden table. Atop the table, in a pot at the center, was a single, yellow flower that was wilted and dying. I walked up to the window and, with my nose just inches from the glass, staired out at the wonder of the people and actively below. It was an incredible view.

I could feel Samuel’s presence behind me as I gazed out the window. His voice, soothing and reassuring, instructed me to turn around. I turned my head, and, in that instant, my soul was lifted out of my body. I could see the entire room, as if my eyesight was 360 degrees in scope. The wilted and dying floor in the center of the room began coming back to life. Its stem lifted from its drooped position and the pedals became unwrinkled, growing and emitting a bright, neon yellow.

As the flower came back to life, I knew it was Samuel causing this to happen. I could see the aura pulsating around him, joining with the essence of the flower. His eyes were closed in deep mediation. At the same time, I could hear a choir of angels singing. A thousand voices harmonized, praising the wonder of life, and rejoicing with the arrival of the rejuvenated flower.

With a startle, I was awoken and sat straight up in my bed, with the melody from the chorus on angels still echoing in my mind. The dream was so powerful, I found my laptop and began journaling, making sure to start from the previous evening’s visions experienced while I slept. I had no idea I was planting the seed for The Gift of Samuel, with many more dreams of my friend on the horizon.

The post Witnessing The Gift of Samuel appeared first on The Gift Of Samuel: Grey Dawn.

Recently, I made my initial phone call to a new client, who we will call Amanda for this story, to protect her identity and attorney-client privilege. She picked up the phone and, after I explained who I was and why I was calling, remained very quiet while I described what to expect and how to prepare for the various stages of the lawsuit ahead of her.

“Paul,” she said softly, but with determination, “this accident was not my fault. It was one hundred percent the other driver’s fault.” I noted the sincerity in Amanda’s voice, and we began setting forth a plan of action to defend her case.

As I was wrapping things up, I asked her, “do you have any more questions for me before I let you go?” That’s when Amanda couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“You know what, Paul,” she said, now crying with resentment in her voice, “you can take the strategy we just laid out to defend this case and throw it out the window! Nothing ever goes my way! My life is just a series of one thing after another going wrong. I guarantee you this lawsuit is not going to turn out well for me. We might as well just give up right now!”

In that moment, I innately stopped being defense attorney Paul Padrón and reverted back to being just Paul. I asked her to step out of the “defendant’s” shoes she was in and told her I was going to step out of the “lawyer’s” shoes I was in, and we were just going to talk as two people: Amanda and Paul.

Amanda then began unloading numerous examples in her life of various hardships she has faced and continues to face, from family to friends to work, both big and small. She was convinced that the cards were always stacked against her and no matter how hard she tried or what she did, things always turned out for the worst when it came to her.

Over the course of the next half an hour, I was able to slowly change Amanda’s focus from all the things that have gone wrong to all the things that have turned out well. I could tell by the pitch in her voice that she was beginning to calm down, beginning to realize that we all endure hardships and it’s ultimately up to the individual, alone, to focus on the positive or the negative.

Feeling that we had finally come to a place where Amanda was willing to maintain a better mindset, I asked her, “Do you enjoy reading?”

“Absolutely,” she said, “I read all the time, especially on my kindle.”

“Great!” I exclaimed. “There’s an E-book that I want you to download. It’s free on Amazon this Sunday. It’s called The Gift of Samuel. It’s an inspirational story, at its core, reminding the reader to fight every day to keep a positive attitude, no matter how much life drags you down. A lot of what we just spoke about is in the story and I think you’ll enjoy it. At the very least, I think you’ll find inspiration in the story’s message.”

“Whoa!” Amanda replied. “That’s so crazy! What a coincidence!”

“What’s so crazy? What’s a coincidence?”

“I was talking to a friend the other day about how I was struggling with all that is going on in my life. This friend suggested a couple of books for me to read. One of the books is The Gift of Samuel.”

“What?” I said, doubtfully. “Are you sure? It’s not a very well-known book. Are you sure your friend said the book’s title is ‘The Gift of Samuel?’”

“Yeah, I’m sure, I have it written down, right here in front of me – The Gift of Samuel.”

In that moment, I realized I had accomplished my goal. I wrote The Gift of Samuel for Amanda, her friend, and everyone else who struggles with keeping a positive attitude. My book was finding its way to the people who needed it.

Today, Amanda has become one my favorite clients. And, I, one of her favorite attorneys…and authors.

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